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BOY DO I HAVE A FUCKING STORY FOR YOU ASSHOLES
SO WE GOT 15 MINUTES TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANTED AFTER SWIM TODAY, SO A BUNCH OF US WERE LIKE 'HEY, LET'S FUCKING PLAY SHARKS AND MINNOWS'
AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SHARKS AND MINNOWS IS, IT'S A GAME WHERE YOU HAVE TO GET FROM ONE SIDE OF THE POOL TO THE OTHER UNDERWATER, AND IF YOU COME UP FOR AIR, THE SHARK IS ABLE TO TAP YOU ON THE HEAD AND YOU TURN INTO A SHARK AS WELL.
SO IT'S DOWN TO TWO PEOPLE, ME AND ANOTHER GIRL LESLIE, AND EVERYONE IS LIKE 'WTF THESE GIRLS AREN'T FUCKING BREATHING, WHAT THE FUCK' AND SO BC THERE'S 2 OF US AND LIKE 10 SHARKS, THEY FORM A WALL OF FUCKING LEGS, AND SO THE TWO OF US ARE TWISTING AND TURNING, TRYING TO GET PAST WHILE NOT COMING UP FOR BREATH, AND THE ENTIRE TIME PEOPLE ARE GRABBING AS US, PULLING US BACK, AND TRYING TO PIN US TO THE FLOOR.
A LITTLE MORE THAN HALFWAY THERE, I'M IN A FIGHT WITH GUS' LEGS, AND I ACCIDENTALLY GRABBED LESLIE AND CAUSED HER TO LOSE, BUT I FINALLY GET AWAY, AND HE MAKES A DESPERATE GRAB FOR MY ANKLE, AND AT THIS POINT IT'S BEEN ALMOST A MINUTE AND I NEED TO FUCKING BREATH, SO I KICK THIS ASSHOLE OFF, SOMEHOW AVOID GETTING GRABBED AGAIN, ALMOST TO THE FUCKING WALL, SOMEONE FUCKING STEPS ON MY BACK, SO I'M CLAWING AND SCRATCHING, STARTING TO FEEL A BIT DIZZY, AND I FINALLY GET AWAY, SWIM THE LAST FOOT, GRAB ONTO THE WALL AND YANK MYSELF UP.
I WILL LITERALLY ALMOST FUCKING DIE TO WIN A GAME
DON'T DOUBT ME
ON A SIDE NOTE I ALMOST BROKE A KID'S NOSE TO WIN A GAME OF BULLDOG WHICH IS BASICALLY SHARKS AND MINNOWS BUT ON LAND AND YOU HAVE TO WRESTLE AND PIN A KID TO THE GROUND FOR 3 SECONDS FOR THEM TO BE A BULLDOG AND I HAVE BEEN FUCKING FOOTBALL TACKLED IN THE PAST
IT'S AS DANGEROUS AS IT'S FUN
AND IT'S REALLY FUCKING FUN
SO WE GOT 15 MINUTES TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANTED AFTER SWIM TODAY, SO A BUNCH OF US WERE LIKE 'HEY, LET'S FUCKING PLAY SHARKS AND MINNOWS'
AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SHARKS AND MINNOWS IS, IT'S A GAME WHERE YOU HAVE TO GET FROM ONE SIDE OF THE POOL TO THE OTHER UNDERWATER, AND IF YOU COME UP FOR AIR, THE SHARK IS ABLE TO TAP YOU ON THE HEAD AND YOU TURN INTO A SHARK AS WELL.
SO IT'S DOWN TO TWO PEOPLE, ME AND ANOTHER GIRL LESLIE, AND EVERYONE IS LIKE 'WTF THESE GIRLS AREN'T FUCKING BREATHING, WHAT THE FUCK' AND SO BC THERE'S 2 OF US AND LIKE 10 SHARKS, THEY FORM A WALL OF FUCKING LEGS, AND SO THE TWO OF US ARE TWISTING AND TURNING, TRYING TO GET PAST WHILE NOT COMING UP FOR BREATH, AND THE ENTIRE TIME PEOPLE ARE GRABBING AS US, PULLING US BACK, AND TRYING TO PIN US TO THE FLOOR.
A LITTLE MORE THAN HALFWAY THERE, I'M IN A FIGHT WITH GUS' LEGS, AND I ACCIDENTALLY GRABBED LESLIE AND CAUSED HER TO LOSE, BUT I FINALLY GET AWAY, AND HE MAKES A DESPERATE GRAB FOR MY ANKLE, AND AT THIS POINT IT'S BEEN ALMOST A MINUTE AND I NEED TO FUCKING BREATH, SO I KICK THIS ASSHOLE OFF, SOMEHOW AVOID GETTING GRABBED AGAIN, ALMOST TO THE FUCKING WALL, SOMEONE FUCKING STEPS ON MY BACK, SO I'M CLAWING AND SCRATCHING, STARTING TO FEEL A BIT DIZZY, AND I FINALLY GET AWAY, SWIM THE LAST FOOT, GRAB ONTO THE WALL AND YANK MYSELF UP.
I WILL LITERALLY ALMOST FUCKING DIE TO WIN A GAME
DON'T DOUBT ME
ON A SIDE NOTE I ALMOST BROKE A KID'S NOSE TO WIN A GAME OF BULLDOG WHICH IS BASICALLY SHARKS AND MINNOWS BUT ON LAND AND YOU HAVE TO WRESTLE AND PIN A KID TO THE GROUND FOR 3 SECONDS FOR THEM TO BE A BULLDOG AND I HAVE BEEN FUCKING FOOTBALL TACKLED IN THE PAST
IT'S AS DANGEROUS AS IT'S FUN
AND IT'S REALLY FUCKING FUN
I'M SCREAMING THIS IS SO GOOD
DO YOU FUCKERS LIKE MCR?
DO YOU LIKE INTRICATE STORIES THAT CROSS OVER TIME AND SPACE TO FOLLOW THE SAME CHARACTER(S) IN DIFFERENT REINCARNATIONS?
THEN DO I HAVE A FUCKING FANFIC FOR YOU HOLY SHIT THIS SHIT IS FUCKING DOPE I LOVE IT SO MUCH JUST HOW IT CONNECTS AND THE STORY AND I'M LITERALLY ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT
https://archiveofourown.org/works/943202/chapters/1840002
IT'S OCTOBER 1ST, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BITCHES
IT WAS IN MY YOUTUBE RECOMMENDATIONS
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BITCHES
I̴̡̞̪͐̅͐T̸̥́̓̇'̸̰̔̐̎̇S̵̮̼͐͝
M̸̡̨̛̞̤͎̺͚̦͍̤͇͎̟̣̥͙̥̦̬͚̖̥̲̲̭̖̻̹͈͈͇̮̉̿́́̏͒̏͗̀̓͂͌̉́͑̃͒͝ͅͅͅŐ̶̱̭͕̼͖̼̮̾̈́͐̎́͐̍̐̓͛̏̉̚͜T&
Peak dumbass
Okay
the question should never be 'What are we willing to do for a joke' but 'What aren't you willing to do for a joke'
bc we asked how much we'd have to pay the professor for him to shave his beard and he answered '80,000 dollars, if you paid me that much you could wax it with ducktape and a 4x4 for all I cared'
So a kid in my public speaking class was like, 'should we make it a gofundme?' and me, being me, was like 'Dude, yes 100%' and so he made a fucking gofundme
We made it, it exists.
This is the gofund me page, you should totally donate to it
SPREAD THE WORD SO WE CAN WAX OUR PUBLIC SPEAKING PROFESSOR'S BEARD OFF
© 2017 - 2024 Insane-Alchemist
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